Here's another one of those pieces to my story that may or may not make it into the final cut. I've just been feeling the feels recently and wanted to share while it's all fresh. :P
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"I thought I could endure the pain because of you. Just the thought of you and me, safe from their demands, made me so happy," I whisper, smearing blood on my arms as I hold myself, "You kept me driven. The want to impress you, deliver you, satisfy you...you can't possibly understand how burning this feeling is against all that I was willing to sacrifice."
"Skain, what are you talking about?" Silvia asks, her eyes wide and fearful, "I'm right here. I've not left."
"I loved you, but I could never have you to keep. That was so clear from the beginning, Silvia," I murmur, reaching forward to touch her face but stopping short when I remember how defiled I am right now, "I'm not strong enough to keep you and Brielle safe, and, when I tried, I lost you both. You know, I've always believed in acquiring all that I set my determination towards, but I...I can’t. I can't win this time; that's why I must forget you."
"No, she says firmly, "we can figure a way out of this, love. Please have courage!"
"I can't endure any more," I reply, my eyes unfocused on the crimson beads that swell from my lacerations, "Fate and my ambition are pulling me apart. This is it. After everything I underwent, I'm going to leave. She doesn't care anymore about me either, does she? I've hurt her far too much; I can't atone for this...not for Iris."
“Skain." Silvia's dark green irises burn with the same passion that made me first admire her, her stubborn will sparking with energy and a demand to survive. "Stop talking about me like I'm not here! I'm right in front of you. From the start, I was always there for you when you needed me, and I'll be here until the bitter end. Now stop saying those terrible things!"
I shake my head softly and pull the knife out of her fingers - quickly, before I register the feel of her soft hands against mine. "No, I'm going to take Brielle and escape, Silvia. I'm sorry for everything, but this is the only way to ensure that you are all right. I'll hurt you worse if I don't leave now."
She folds her arms. "And where exactly do you think you're going, huh?"
I hold the knife in both hands and point the blade at my neck, suffocating in my grief.
"Anywhere - away from you."
As soon as I plunge the knife into myself, I surface into semi-consciousness. I'm lying on my bed in my room the same way as hundreds and hundreds of nights before this one: moonlight streaming onto my monochrome sheets, hot sweat sticking on my skin…
…utterly alone.
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Write on!
Clove
P.S. Interview #1 is tomorrow in the afternoon! Prayers and well-wishes would be much appreciated! :)
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