So you call yourself an author, eh?

I have a funny philosophy about titles.

"If you claim a position of authority, you are inclined to take all responsibilities for that position in full, else resign or be forcefully resigned." 

~Someone, somewhere in my story...I have yet to put it in.  But I will.  Don't worry.  ;)

This works for the title "god" and for the title "president" and for the title "author" too.
So for example...if you claim to be god, you must be perfect, omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, etc.  If you claim just one factor to godship, such as omnipotence, you must also claim the other characteristics or forfeit your title.  This is also why I think the president--may he be blessed and saved--ought to resign and let someone who is willing to take full charge rule in his stead.

Buuut...I digress.  That's a different post on a different blog.  ;)

I was recently holding a conversation with a friend of mine about what really makes the title of "author".  Her definition is here, if you want to take a peek.  As for my definition...

Here are 3 Things That Define an Author (imnsho):

1.) You must enjoy writing and write.
As for how much you must write, I think that's open for opinion.  If you write more than your mandatory school essay, I'd say you write enough to be qualified as an author.  It doesn't matter if it's memoirs, newspaper articles, other essays, or poetry.  (I'd say you'd probably be a poet if you wrote poetry, however...)
Authors are people who like to write and take time out of their daily 24 hours to write.

2.) You must enjoy reading and read.
I don't know any author who doesn't like to read.  Period.  Flat-out.  That's it.
Seriously, it's practically impossible to write well if you don't read.  How will you learn new words?  How will you get inspiration?  How will you learn to study plots and developments?

3.) You must be OCD.
Grammar Nazi, Warrior of the Red Pen, editor, whatever you call yourself...you have to be obsessed with it.

4.) You do NOT have to be published.
Earlier today, I was looking at an old, unfinished story I did in January 2012, hehehe, and I was telling Dad about how horrible it was.  (It was my first attempt at writing as a guy, and it sounds completely girly.  Haha.  You had your laugh.  Now stop looking at me like that.  x))  He said, "And think, Clove, next year, you'll be saying the same thing about your current writing!"
Strange as it is, I know he's right, but I'm not discouraged.  I think my writing right now is epic.
The deceiving thing about being an author is that we all believe we, collectively, are amazing, but when it comes down to it, we really mess up a lot.  I don't know a single published author (and I've talked to a few) who has reread a published book.  Why?  Because they'll find a mistake, and due to their OCD-ness, will want to correct it, and since they can't, they'll be driven maaad.

So there you have it.  :)
Now you know how I gauge authors.  Agree or disagree?  Anything to add?  Questions, comments, complaints?  Jokes, quotes, anecdotes?
You know where to put them.  :)

Write on, O author!
Clove